Bucks
Eliot Spitzer and Local Women Reaction
Dear Friends,
Good morning. The Eliot Spitzer case fascinated me. As you know, the former New York Governor was the subject of one of the more notorious cases of infidelity in recent memory. So, I thought it would be interesting to interview 12 women of varying ages to determine how they would have handled this crisis. Would they: (1) stand by their man in public as he apologized to the world? And (2) would they remain married to the villain?
This is what the San Francisco Chronicle wrote (March 14): “A politician who rises on the sword of righteousness must beware [of] its double edge. As attorney general and governor, Spitzer did not just condemn official corruption and malfeasance…he attacked them with a vengeance. He made it personal. His rectitude became his calling card. In terms of sleaziness, Spitzer’s paid liaison in a Washington hotel room was no worse than Senator Larry Craig’s clumsy attempt to solicit sex with a stranger in an airport restroom…
“But Spitzer does not win this game by being no worse than the common politician,” the editorial continued. “He cast himself as superior…and…betrayed his wife on the eve of Valentine’s Day, then allowed her to stand by him Monday for 60 seconds of hell. We will welcome the day when a shamed politician has the decency to spare his spouse such public humiliation.”
What did some of my female friends have to say about this? Let me introduce the cast. Anastasia, Jessica, Kate and Meredith S. are rowers in their 20’s. Barbara, Ellie, Jo Ann, Mary, Marie, Pam, Paulette and Suzie range between 50 and 70. Regardless of age, their reactions were similar.
Let’s set the stage. In the New York Times (Mar. 23), I learned that Helen Fisher, a Rutgers University anthropologist, wrote that 30 percent of American men and 25 percent of American women will be sexually unfaithful during their marriages.
Further, the Today Show (Mar. 19) claimed that 50 percent of adult Americans know someone who cheats and one in four couples will have to deal with infidelity. Only 50 percent of marriages remain monogamous. When Today’s co-host, Meredith Vieira, heard a sociologist quip, “There are impulses to stray but only inhibition prevents it,” she exclaimed, “I hope my husband’s watching!”
USA Today (Mar. 12) reminded readers of eight high-profile sex scandals within ten years. From Prince Charles to Bill Clinton; from Hugh Grant and former N.J. Governor James McGreevey to Kobe Bryant and Newt Gingrich, these sad stories continue. I was particularly incensed by Newt Gingrich, the former Speaker of the House of Representatives, who confessed to cheating on his wife…at around the same time that the House was impeaching President Clinton over his White House affair with Monica Lewinsky.
Hutchie had an interesting reaction to the Spitzer questions. “No, I wouldn’t stand publicly with my husband,” she began. “And I’d do a John Wayne Bobbitt number on him!”
Ouch.
Ellie reacted with gales of laughter. “No, I wouldn’t stand with him,” she exclaimed. “I’d try to work it out for a short while and then, I’d be out of there.”
Paulette thinks that it’s brain versus heart. “Maybe I’d stand with him if his career and fortune relied upon me staying with him,” she offered. “But I’d never be able to trust him again.”
Meredith had an interesting reaction. “If my boyfriend’s listening [to the question],” the 25 year older began, “both answers are no. Otherwise, I’m not sure.”
“I think his [Spitzer] wife stood by him to remain positive in the public eye, so when she does file for divorce, she has the upper hand,” Kate said.
“He’d stand alone,” Jessica told me. “I’d sue for divorce and take every dollar I could; write a book and expose him for the cad he is; retire to a small town and start all over. Why do women have such low self-esteem? Are all the male species like this?”
JoAnn, Marie, Mary, and Pam had similar views.
“I’d never stand next to the guy, Suzie snapped. “Let his lawyer stand with him. She’s [Silda Spitzer] crazy. He’s been a liar for ten years. Once a skirt chaser, always a skirt chaser.
“My mother’s 86,” Suzie continued. “She wouldn’t stand with him either.” She feels the most sorry for Spitzer’s three daughters. “They’ll never trust a man,” the grandmother added. “Spitzer ruined their faith in men, fatherhood and relationships.”
Anastasia agrees with her mother and grandmother.
I’m absolutely petrified to ask Mighty Betsy for her opinion. I think it’s best to stay on the straight and narrow, remembering what my late father advised…“Always be with the person you’re supposed to be with.” And, “Simple obedience is best.”
Sincerely,
Charles Meredith