Morning Call – October 5, 2005

Stay At Home Moms Ivy League

Dear Friends,

Good morning. After I read a New York Times article about Ivy League coeds planning to be stay-at-home moms, I thought about a local angle. I called Cedar Crest, Lehigh, and Muhlenberg about the Sept. 20 front-page story.

“Cynthia Liu is precisely the kind of high achiever Yale wants: smart (1510 SAT), disciplined (4.0 grade point average), competitive (finalist in Texas oratory competition), musical (pianist), athletic (runner) and altruistic (hospital volunteer),” the report began. “And at the start of her sophomore year at Yale, Ms. Liu is full of ambition, planning to go to law school.

“So will she join the long tradition of famous Ivy League graduates? Not likely. By the time she is 30, this accomplished 19-year-old expects to be a stay-at-home mom.

“My mother’s always told me you can’t be the best career woman and the best mother at the same time,” Ms. Liu said matter-of –factly. “You always have to choose one over the other.” ”

What about the attitudes of Lehigh Valley coeds? I saw Gregory Farrington and Jan Armfield at a reception so I started with them. Farrington is the President of Lehigh University and Armfield is the Regional President of Northeast Pennsylvania for Wachovia. Armfield has a daughter who’s a freshman at Johns Hopkins. “I wouldn’t be surprised if she becomes a stay-at-home mom,” Armfield told me.

Farrington was interested and referred me to Sharon Basso, Lehigh’s Dean of Students. Her office referred me to Sarah Cooke in [Lehigh] University Relations, which referred me to Kristin Handler, the Women’s Center Director. Alas, Handler’s schedule prohibited a conversation. When I pushed further, Cooke insisted that Handler would remain too busy.

I got a similar response from Cedar Crest. Unable to speak with President Dorothy Blaney, her office sent me to college relations where I learned that no one was comfortable about commenting on stay-at-home moms. My source had spoken to five women in administration and several coeds…but the answer was the same. I’d hit a blank wall.

Fortunately Peyton Helm had courage. The affable President of Muhlenberg College had read the stay-at-home moms story. Helm told me that nearly 60 percent of Muhlenberg students are women, which startled me (I would have predicted a 50-50 split between men and women). “I haven’t noticed it here, but I wouldn’t be surprised,” Helm began. “Most of our women will go to grad schools or enter business. Whether they will take a break from their careers [to become stay-at-home moms], I can’t predict.

“I don’t think it [the Times story] was a scientific study,” Helm concluded, “I’d want to see more research before I’d say this is a trend.”

To be fair, it’s important to observe that women from elite schools have an advantage over their non-Ivy female peers. “The women they [Ivy League schools] are counting on to lead society are likely to marry men who will make enough money to give them a real choice about whether to be full-time mothers, unlike those women who must work out of economic necessity,” the Times reported.

Nontheless, with the exception of Armfield and Helm (and he’s a man), I was unable to convince college female administrators to speak with me. I’ve never encountered a woman’s reluctance to speak on the record about issues like abortion, equal rights for gays, the morning after pill, our President, and the like. But stay-at-home moms…well, that’s another story.

Sincerely,

Charles Meredith